i started to listening to shitty music for fun, and now my favorite genre of music is just shitty.
right now, i’m in the process of unlocking a new skill: envisioning the shit out of things i want (aka desired reality) until it becomes reality. it works you guys. that is how i found my dog, current bf, and apartment. and sometimes i think about tacos and then i eat the tacos later. it’s the best skill ever. i’ll write a long thing on it later so everyone can try. k
other than having nothing to look forward to besides seeing yourself and your friends growing into ugly things daily, being an adult is the best thing ever. i used to think my childhood was awesome because i got to eat all the cool video games inside the disneylands, but i was wrong. it’s nice to not have people telling you what to do/don’t do/eat and where to shit etc. what a terrible time i hope i am never reincarnated into a baby ever again
anyway my current occupation is to help adult sell things to young children. and it’s hard because i don’t know what kids are into these days. what do they like? blocks? or? when i was 6 i was into monkeys. when i was 8 i liked mario rpg. ages 10-25 is just a blur. now i am into petting my dog and stuff. pooooooooooooop.
hi. hi. I forgot about this. just like i forgot about ma blorg, twattard, googor plorp, and the actual mailbox outside. they are all dead to me.
here is a quick memoir because it’s appropriate for places such as tumblr:
ever since i was forced to drop out of high school to begin a new life on a dumb island surrounded by psychotic adults in 9th grade, i had always believed my life was permanently fucked and that my only choice was to learn to enjoy living the rest of my life as a very elaborate joke.
but. somehow, my life changed for the better last spring. and it’s not because i dropped my standards to a level so low that i would be considered a winner if i don’t wake up all damp and hungover on some abandoned couch outside of someone’s house. i am currently pooping my dream poops into my dream toilet and my dog is made of poop too. and now i spend most of my time being scared that it might all be a trap, like the world might be ending soon.
anyway i wanted to thank everyone making the shittiest decade of my life awesome. please visit me in washington. the end.
I am so happy I keep forgetting to eat and sleep and my contacts and eyeballs are becoming one and I believe my kidney is infected. Either that or gallstones. True story. But I am so happy like you know what I mean. So. So. Happy.
i’ve been thinking about this story for years… 4 years in fact. it is a story about a mysterious city full of insane homeless people and the group of youths who are on a quest to understand the meaning of existence and discovering many things they never wished to know and going insane.
i read things, meditated intensely on things, talked to things (and sometimes people too until i got tired of being sad and smelling like feces all the time)… and now i think my brain is full of ideas because i keep wanting to clap manically and run up and down the hall at work… but since i don’t want people to call the ambulance i just twitch uncontrollably while beaming at my desk.
so yes. i just wanted to let you know that i am doing this and i’m shuuuuuuuper exxxxxxxxxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitddddddddsajjjjjjjjjdf\g
1. When you’re awake, make a habit of pushing your index finger against the palm of your other hand every once in a while. One of these days, you’ll randomly do it in your dream, and something wacky will happen to your hand. That’s how you’ll realize you’re dreaming and then BAM welcome to lucid dream land.
2. If you’re ever struggling to accomplish certain tasks in your dream, just rely on technology and it works like BAM (e.g. using “flight” or “teleport” applications on your phone or ipod) (Knowledge passed on from Die-lawn, thank you very much bunch)
3. When you’re worried that you’ll wake up from an awesome dream, rub your hands together and/or spin around in circles and it somehow prevents awakening! Amazing!
4. I’m pretty sure that time passes at about the same speed as when you’re awake when you’re lucid dreaming because I dream in 10 minute intervals when I’m snoozing the alarm, which is like 10 minutes or some shit.
5. I also suffer from sever sleep paralysis and visual/auditory hallucinations when I wake up in the morning sometimes. This fucking sucks.
Would you ever consider learning to Kayak? If you did, could we start calling you Kayaka?
I’m a total dummy for not doing that yet. I could also start a kayak business and call it “Ayakaskayaks”. The kayaks would be called “Ayakaskayaks’ Kayak”. And if I get bored, I’ll change it to: Aykskykskyk. And be a total ass about it, too.